Valentine's...Way behind in blogging!!

I am so far behind in blogging that I really don't know where to start, but then I look, and I really don't have that much to blog about... I guess we're really not that exciting of people :)

This year for Valentine's Brett got me these beautiful flowers.



Cala Lilies are one of my favorite flowers, but I'm really not a big fan of flowers... because they die. Well Brett and his ingeniousness (I don't think that's a word) got me these cala lilies that were in a pot, so they wouldn't die. He is so thoughtful and sweet. :) Love you honey.

I also begged him to take me to the Valentine's Dance this year, since we have never been to a date dance together. After much persuasion, Brett kindly agreed, and we made our way to Ephraim for the dance. I had a great time, and it really had been a while since we had danced (Brett's a good Swing Dancer). The pictures aren't the greatest, but it was still fun! :)

Snow makes me happy!

I have been a SLACKER big time lately, and I apologize. Life is going pretty darn fast. This semester is already a month gone, but I am happy to report that I received a 4.0 GPA last semester. My last couple posts were about making Christmas memorable. This Christmas was so wonderful! We have been so blessed with so many things and so many wonderful people surrounding us. The holiday season surely did fly by, but we were able to spend some good quality time together.

Lately, my inner kid has been showing up with the Snow deciding to come around. Brett wasn’t too thrilled about it, but I was so ecstatic about this because I FINALLY got to wear my new snow boots!!





I was so excited that I made Brett come build a snowman with me (which he really did enjoy). I would like to introduce you to our new buddy.









We have had a lot of fun playing in the snow. In fact the last two Saturdays we went sledding down the canyon with our new sleds! There’s not really too much more to blog about, but for us, Life. Is. GOOD.

6 Months and 18 Years. Wow!

Today is December 16 which marks two things that I shouldn't forget.

Today marks 6 months since little Hailey made her entrance into this world. I don't know where the 6 months have gone, because it seems just like yesterday. Hailey we love you! Happy 6 month birthday!



Another birthday is my little sister who is now 18! Like the 18 you turn when you are considered an adult! I can't believe that she's 18, because I still consider myself to be 18, until I look and realize that I'm 22. Anyway, Happy Birthday Mel!



School is officially out, and here is the post that has been promised. I almost don’t know what to do with myself, but there is a lot that needs to be done around the house, as I have slacked off of that for the last couple of weeks.

First off, I would like you to read this story which was very humbling to me.

I cried and cried reading this, especially the little girl with the 4 skeins of yarn. That is something I wouldn’t even think twice of buying, and that is all that this little girl wanted for Christmas. I constantly have to be reminded how blessed I truly am, and I really do have so much more than I need.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Christmas time? Well, I do. This year the Spirit of Christmas has been in my heart, and this Christmas time has been amazing. Here is a Mormon Message that has gotten me in the Christmas Spirit as well.

I think too often, and I am as guilty as anyone, that we get so caught up in the “presents” part of Christmas. It is good to give, but the true meaning of Christmas is almost hidden. I was very worried that this year Christmas would be hard emotionally, but the more I forget myself and have looked at the needs of others, the more joy and happiness I feel. This year I have truly felt a gratitude for my Savior, and the mission he led here on the Earth. Christmas is truly all about Christ, and I hope that we can keep this in our thoughts and hearts as the Christmas Season continues on, and that we may help those in need, just like the Savior would.

As for making Christmas memorable, I have always had a love for poinsettias. I really wanted to get Hailey one, but I knew that it wouldn’t last very long with the freezing nights we have had, and all of the fake ones I didn’t like… until I saw this tiny little one.



I thought it was just perfect for her. Hopefully Brett will get home before he leaves for Scout Camp so we can take it up and put it by her grave.

Butterflies!

Here is our lovely Christmas Tree! I love Christmas time, and the Christmas Tree is always one of my favorite things.

If you notice, we have some unusual ornaments. Butterflies. One in particular at the top of the tree.


One of my sweet cousins sent me some poems and literature when she found out about Hailey's condition. She has lost a little Angel girl as well, and these were things that had helped her. Thanks Abbie! One of the poems was about a butterfly, and I have been obsessed ever since.

"A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam,and for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it."

This poem really explains in such simple, but beautiful terms of how I feel. When I saw these decorations while shopping one day, I simply could not pass them up. As we were decorating the tree, we decided to place one butterfly at the top of our tree as a symbol of our sweet little Angel. As I look at that butterfly everyday, I can't help but think how lucky we are that Hailey came into our lives, even if it was for only a brief moment.

Making Christmas Memorable

Christmas is in full swing. The decorations are up, music is in the air, and Snow is on the ground.

As I think about Christmas’s past (Last Christmas), it really wasn’t the best Christmas that I can remember. Brett woke up with a very sharp pain in his side. We decided to wait a while before to see if the pain got any worse. I was kind of a grump all day, and that night we ended up in the Emergency Room thinking Brett was going to have to have his appendix removed.

After 2 CT scans, blood work, and an IV, we found out that Brett didn’t have appendicitis, but had injured his abdominal muscles very badly. As you see, not the best first Christmas for Brett and I…

At this time, Hailey had come into our lives, but little did we know that this would be our first AND last Christmas with her. I feel terrible about this, and I wish I could have made that day special for her. Because of this, this year I have decided to do things in remembrance of my sweet little Hailey, and make this Christmas special for her… The only problem is that I don’t have very many ideas. This is where you, my lovely friends and family come in. If you have any ideas of ways that I could make this Christmas special for Hailey please, Please, PLEASE share! I have decided to do a post (no guarantees until school gets out) every day until Christmas with little ways that I have made this Christmas memorable, and hopefully start some traditions that our family will continue. Please and Thank You! We love you all!

Family Pictures 2011

A quick side story... When we went to pick up these pictures from a friend in our ward, Brett and I were coming outside to get into the car and we heard something. Brett asked what it was, and I told him it sounded like gunshots, and he jokingly said that we should get in the car. A couple of days later he was asking me what night we were at Matt's house picking up the pictures, and I told him Wednesday evening after mutual. Well, come to find out we really did hear gunshots, and you can read about it here. Kind of scary! Even scarier, they were straight east half a mile through a field from us, and shooting in our direction. Thank goodness the couple was ok, and it was only a shotgun so it wouldn't have traveled very far.

Anyway... This year I really wanted to get some nice pictures done with the pretty fall season, and incorporate Hailey into them. Our family friend Matt took these awesome photos, and I was thrilled with how well they turned out. Thanks Matt, you are awesome! Hope you all enjoy!

Headstone 11/11/11

I wrote this post on 11-11-11, and I was having a really hard day. I debated on posting it after rereading it, and after a mortal debate with myself decided to anyway.....

Sometimes I have hard days. Sometimes I have good days. Sometimes I have hard weeks with good moments. Sometimes I have good weeks with hard moments. This has been me for the last month or so. I probably would put myself into the category this week of hard week with good moments.

When people have a baby, one fun thing is looking for the milestones. The first smile, solid foods, starting to babble… you get my point. The only milestone I have been able to look forward to is a different kind of stone. A headstone.

On Tuesday, Brett told me that they would be coming Friday to put in Hailey’s headstone. Today was that day, and I have been having mixed feelings about this. I’m sorry if this post seems kind of melancholy, but I really don’t know how to express it otherwise.



I am really happy that the headstone is here, and it turned out just the way I had hoped it would. On the other hand, I’m kind of sad because this was the last thing that we had to do for Hailey. There are no more “milestones” to look forward to, and this officially closes a chapter.

I know that Hailey is not far, but sometimes I’m not strong enough to hold off the sadness. I love seeing babies being born, and growing up, but at the same time it brings floods of emotions to me. Sometimes selfish emotions. Some days all I want is for everything to be different. To be at home with my little girl, and not sitting in a classroom full of college students. I’m constantly having to be reminded that this is not the plan that has been prepared for me, and then silently keep moving forward with life, trying to not show the pain.

I guess the best way to put the last little while is that my heart is breaking. For the better. Everyday I think I gain a little more strength to get through the next day. It has been quite the process of ups and downs.

One thing that I have learned is service truly does help heal. Whenever I feel down, if I go and serve someone in need, I feel 10x better than I did before. It’s amazing how forgetting yourself, and doing service can help you probably more than the person you helped.

Another thing that has been good for me is realizing all of my blessings that I do have. Many times I take the little things for granted, and it’s a good time of year to be overwhelmed thinking of everything I do have. I am grateful for everything that I have. Counting my blessings is nearly impossible, and helps me remember that Heavenly Father loves me, and this in turn helps me through the hard times.